The Thief of Joy

    How many times have I heard that comparison is the thief of joy? Too many to count. I have sat and pondered what I would feel if I gave up all social media. My conclusion? Happiness. The why of that answer is simple. As Americans we have bought into the lie that our success is measured by what we have and how well we are "keeping up with the Jones'." So what do we do? We slave away mindlessly so we can mortgage and finance ourselves into oblivion. Most Americans would have nothing if not for credit. Do I think it's a bad thing? Not always. I think, however, if the pressure was not there to have the nicest and newest there would be a lot less stress and a lot more happiness.
    Social media has brought us to new heights of comparison and depression. Our downward spiral of discontent with what we have is now only as far away as turning on your computer. Yes before that we had the television. Yes, we also still wanted the big house, new car and next best thing. It can be disheartening when you can get a reminder daily that others around you are getting all of the things you wanted in life.
    Remember me mentioning the little fixer upper we bought? Did I mention the nightmare I have lived in for nearly the last year? I have so many dreams. We wanted a place that we could live in without having to worry that a bank could ever take it from us. We found a 1980 mobile home that needs lots of TLC. We walked through the door, saw the space and endless possibilities. My heart gently whispered "mine". We bought it for $2,500 cash and our journey began. Our plans of drywall, bath and kitchen remodels, a new roof and large additions are not going to happen over night. I look at pictures and read stories of amazing mobile home remodels that you can't ever tell it was once a run down place that anyone else would have scraped. Someone saw the potential of these places and turned them into cozy homes that look like they just came from a lowes home magazine. And they did it all without a mortgage. With our family's situation and the uncertainty that we all face, this was what we chose to do.
    Some days I want to cry. Some days I do. The dam breaks, I build it back, and remember my dream. There are so many things that need to be done. Right now, I am thankful to have a roof over our heads that we owe nothing for. We have worked so hard on it since we bought it and already it is such a huge improvement. I keep telling myself these things when I see the beautiful new house that so and so bought, or that someone is buying another house. I just want one. Our goal is to renovate and remodel until you could never be able to tell that it was ever a mobile home. There is no shame in owning one, I just want someone to walk though the door and see their reaction when I tell them how our home started out. I think it is the artistic side of me that needs the shock and awe factor. I want my house to be different and not like anyone else's.That's hard to get from a home off the assembly line floor. We'll get there. I just have to stop comparing our situation to others. I don't know what life is like for them behind closed doors. I don't know what their debt is, their financial status and I don't want to. My point is that reminding myself that the grass isn't always greener on the other side takes daily effort. I have the opportunity to rebuild my house one room at a time. Make it ours. Add on. I can't take it with me when I die. The legacy I leave behind will be much more important. Teaching my children to be grateful for what they have and to make the most of the opportunities they are given.
    My creative side just wants to cut loose on this place and make it grand. Until then, I go to one of my favorite sites, look at pictures, get ideas and dream. If you have a similar dream I would suggest checking out mobilehomelivingdotorg. I have wasted away hours there and have no regrets.
    Please just remember that not all dreams are going to be the same. You don't have to go to the bank and mortgage your life away to be happy. You don't have to follow what everyone else is doing to be successful. Happiness and success is measured in the heart and that's the one place that only you can build or tear down. Don't sabotage yourself or your individuality with comparison.

Be Blessed,
 Maygan

How to Become a Pronto-pooper

    Don't let the heading alarm you. I promise not to totally disgust with raunchy bathroom humor. Unless, of course, you have no sense of humor at all. I haven't posted anything for a while because it has become difficult to find the humor in my own life. I was reminded to do so today. As a wife and home schooling mother, losing your sense of humor can be down right dangerous.

    The following will be a brief tutorial on how to become the type of person that never seems to actually use the bathroom when they are in there. In and right back out. The kind of person that makes you wonder if they washed their hands. They were just too quick for them to have possibly practiced proper bathroom procedures. If you have ever wanted to become a bathroom ninja, I would advise you to pay attention. I am about to reveal my own personal journey to (nearly) becoming a pronto-pooper.

    Step 1: Decide that paying ridiculous prices for rent for the rest of your life has no appeal to you and realizing that wanting to paint your walls a neon green might actually be a cry for help from the recesses of your creative soul that is tired of looking at the white walls of the over priced place you are renting. (It would be my personal recommendation that neon green may not be the best choice of color, no matter how desperate you are. It may induce seizures. Please take that from someone that once decided that her room would look best in tangerine orange with canary yellow sponge painted over it. Add neon green shelving to the mix and I had a room that was a head trip from the moment you entered the door. ) 

    Step 2: Look for an affordable place to buy with cash and fix up to officially become home owners. (This step only applies to those that all other previous life choices have made them crazy enough to attempt this step.) Buy what is affordable and within the budget to fix. Even if it is a smaller space and only has one bathroom. Less is the new more, right?

    Step 3: Move in with someone else and put your family of 4 into one room and all of your possessions in storage for 2 months while you wait for everything to be ready to move into the new place since the previous lease ran out before it was ready. This is the critical part where you tell the kids it's an adventure and lie to yourself that things will get better soon. Do not allow the voice of reason to get to you when it says that all of those fights over the bathroom will always be there because you will only have one bathroom in your new home. If you allow this kind of thinking, you may just chicken out and never attain bathroom ninja status. 

    Step 4: Move into your new home and invite every stomach bug coming and going into your new digs so that everyone can fight over who gets to use the bathroom first and which one needs to go the "baddest." Hear the words "hurry up", "I really need to go bad", and "I'm going to pee on myself" until you hear all of it in your sleep. 

    Step 5: Decide that as part of your health and fitness goals you must drink lots and lots of water. This is critical. Run to the bathroom every 30 minutes.

    After you have completed all of these steps, there will be a test. Mine was today. I woke up and every time I had to go to the bathroom, so did someone else. I heard "hurry up" more times than I ever want to hear again in my lifetime. Today also happened to be my son's 5th birthday. I left the kids with their dad and went to pick up the cupcakes and balloons. While at the store, I had to pee again. Thank you water. This, however, was the first time I have ever been excited to go to the bathroom. One of the perks of being a mom is that you never get to go to the bathroom by yourself. Even at home. When they are no longer little enough to hang on your knee while you are on the toilet, you may just be lucky enough to have a dog or cat, or in my case, a dog and 2 cats, sit and stare at you. After not being able to shut the bathroom door all day, I got excited at the prospect of being able to just sit there for a second. take my time and really scrub my hands good and enjoy just being able to do so without worrying that if I wasn't fast enough someone would pee on themselves. I get to the bathrooms and there is a guy standing there with a cleaning cart. He gives me a look and tells me to "hurry up." I ran into the bathroom and didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I couldn't even leave the house and go to a public restroom with at least 8 other toilets and not be told to hurry up. I didn't find the humor until much later. 

    I have said all of this to proudly announce that I can now claim bathroom ninja status. I can go in, pee, take 20 seconds to wash my hands and be back out of the bathroom in under 40 seconds. I have yet to attain pronto-pooper status, but if you follow my tips you may be able to reach your goal. (If you have such a goal.) 

    I realize that I am crazy and proudly proclaim that that being crazy is much more fun. ;-)

Be Blessed,

Maygan

   

Standing Together

    My husband and I married young. Very young. Most said we wouldn't make it past two years. A few weeks ago we celebrated our 8th wedding anniversary. I like to say that wild angels are to thank for that. ;-) I love that man. Even when we are totally annoyed with each other, I love that man.
    We were told that marriage isn't easy. My 17 year old self just could not believe that the wonderful young man that I had loved for so long could ever hurt me or make me angry enough to question what seemed to be God's perfect plan for us. I could not ever imagine that at 17 and 20, we could ever grow or change from what we were at that moment. I was wrong. I had quit school thinking that I didn't need a high school diploma to be a wife and mother. It was all I had ever wanted to be. When 3 months into our marriage I found out we were pregnant with our first child, I panicked. I had visions of my child coming to me saying, "But Mom, you quit!" I enrolled the following semester into a program for school aged expectant mothers and completed half of my 11th grade year as well as my entire senior year in one semester. During that time, my husband's lungs spontaneously collapsed and I was reminded of all I had to lose. I can remember praying so hard. He had surgery and stayed in the hospital for a long time while I slept by his bed in a chair for a month and spent every spare moment I had doing as much of my school work that I could cram in. I tried not to worry about the bills, the groceries, the car that was breaking down. He was in so much pain and all I could keep praying for was his recovery and for the health of our unborn baby. My prayers were answered and my love had recovered in time to watch me walk to get my diploma. (Or rather, I waddled with my big belly ;-) ) Looking back, I realize how much that experience made us grow. We were stronger than ever and it helped us realize that as long as we had each other, we could get through anything.
    Fast forward a few years and a job change. We were pregnant with baby number 2. On the same day that the next door neighbor's place burned down and I had to run out of the house with our daughter in a panic on the phone with 911, my husband goes into the hospital with another collapsed lung. I was terrified to lose him. He came out of surgery looking so pale and had to stay in ICU. I couldn't stay with him that time and it broke my heart. We had a little girl that need mama, too. Over several months, he gained strength, and was able to return to work. I still don't remember how we made it through all of that a second time. I think it may have been so horrible that I have blocked it out.
    There have been so many ups and downs. The birth of our children, then me nearly bleeding to death afterwards and him right there holding my hand while the bleeding was being stopped. The job changes, the moves, the good times and the bad. We have gone through so much together. One would think that after all we have learned that there would never be a cross word or angry feeling between us. I wish I could say this were true. There are 2 things I have learned for certain 1) we are human and therefore we will make mistakes for the rest of our lives 2) that a marriage is precious and not something to be given up on. In a marriage we share our most secret selves with another person. God granted a forever friend and designed marriage to be the most important relationship we ever have on Earth besides the one we have with Him. We go through the hardest moments of our lives together. We know each other better than anyone else on this Earth knows us. Yet, we are usually the first ones the other one will hurt. We are most comfortable with those that know us the best and that means, unfortunately, that when we lash out, the one closest to us is usually our spouse. This is not the way it was meant to be.

    I have a wonderful aunt that made something to put on a shelf in our house that has the words written on it that we had read at our wedding. It is an excerpt from "The Art of a Good Marriage" by Wilfred Arlan Peterson. It says this,

 A good marriage must be created.

 In marriage the little things are the big things...

It is never being too old to hold hands.

It is remembering to say "I love you" at least once a day.

It is never going to sleep angry.

It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives. It is standing together facing the world.

It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.

It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.

It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.

It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.

It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.

It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner.     
    Sometimes, when the road gets a little rocky, I find it helpful to pull this down, read it, and reread it several times, really letting the words seep into my heart. It's easy to forget that I was once, and have many times before, been left reeling from yet another hard blow by this harsh world and looked to find my love holding my hand through the storm. I have had many times that I have forgotten how hard I have fought to be by his side when he needed me.      A marriage is meant to be two people standing together and facing the world, not standing in front of each other with hatred in their hearts.  I can't think of anyone that I would rather have standing with me.  8/06/05

Be Blessed!

Maygan

Our Journey to Home School

    The decision to home school was not easy. I wanted to from the day she was born. I could not imagine sending my little one off to school nearly all day. I was told it would be a mistake, that I would regret it and that I wouldn't be able to do it. I wasn't qualified enough. She wouldn't be socialized enough. She needed to go to school. Our son came and I was told that there was no way I could home school with 2 children. They wouldn't get the attention they need with their work. I bought into the lies and sent her to Kindergarten. We both hated it. She liked doing the fun activities, but hated just about everything else. She was sick every day. Picking her up from school several times a week because she had gotten sick or being late for the bus nearly every morning because her stomach had gone into spasms got old quickly. I was told she would just have to adjust. It didn't feel right. Didn't God give her to me? I felt that God had called me to the teaching and training of my children and I was being ripped in two every time I put that little girl on the bus. Kaylee wasn't getting any better. Finally a doctor told me that it was anxiety and that if she didn't adjust on her own, she would need to be put medication to calm her nerves. What!?!?! She was 5. That was not an option. My husband decided to let me pull her from the public school system and teach her at home. 

    I ordered all of her books, signed up for some online lessons and we began our journey. There was so much for me to learn. I am still learning new things all the time. The first thing I learned was that the only mistake I had made so far was sending her to public school. I would never regret it. I would regret some of the choices I would make along the way, but home schooling wouldn't be one of them. I learned that I have the highest qualification I can get. God gifted those children into my care. He thought me qualified enough. My children have lots of family, they have friends, and they are always watching their parents interact with others, learning how to relate to others. If children are expected to learn how to socialize and relate to the rest of the world from children their own age, the future truly is bleak in terms of friendliness and compassion towards others. As for teaching with 2 children, would it not make sense that I could more effectively manage just a few than a teacher can a whole classroom? I feel I can manage my children better than anyone else. I know them better than anyone else. Home schooling has it's moments. First it was trying to figure out how to keep a little one occupied to get the work accomplished. This year I have started Kace with Kindergarten work while Kaylee is doing 2nd grade. I am learning a whole new way of doing everything.
    It's not easy. I have had people tell me to just put them in school. Comments like that make me feel like I can never talk to anyone about those struggles. Parenting in general is hard. Does that mean we should just give up? I love what I do and we all enjoy the time spent together everyday. I don't see my children hurting for our decision. I have made many adjustments to our curriculum and schedule along the way to make it work best for us. I will write more on that soon. Teaching my children has forced me to grow and change in wonderful ways. I think sometimes that I am learning more than they are, but I feel truly blessed to be able to share this journey with my children.

 Be Blessed

Maygan

Love Is Patient...

    Good Golly Miss Molly! 

    The day we went to the shelter, we had no intention of bringing anything home. My daughter wanted to go to see what it was like. She had seen animal shelters on television and wanted to see one in person. My husband had never walked the kennels in the back either. So I prepared my children for the sadness and we all went. I was, of course, the only one crying walking through it. We went into the puppy room and ooohed and aaahed over the babies. We went to the adult kennels and walked to the end then turned to walk back. I had passed all of the dogs already, we had remarked on all of the beautiful looking dogs, and my husband had mentioned how much he liked the ones that weren't adding to the deafening noise. I have no idea what made me stop. We had passed her on the way through and noted nothing remarkable. Maybe it was the fact that we happened to lock eyes and she seemed to know something that I didn't. A wise soul in an eight month old hound's body. She just leaned into her kennel door and stared into my soul. I told my husband that I would like to get her out to meet her. We walked through the cat room. They all pulled at my heart. I wanted out of there. The cats, the dogs, the puppies... they were all crying for a safe home of their own and someone to love them. I was breaking. 

    They brought the little basset hound mix with the wise eyes to us when we asked to see her. We took her for a walk outside. I let my husband take her, pet her, talk to her, and fall for her just a little. After she had worked her magic on us all we decided to get her. Kaylee had saved some of her birthday money for a dog sometime down the line, so it wasn't too much of a stretch for us to throw in the rest. We were told we could get her the next day. I barely slept all night. It felt that I had a new baby that I knew was in a horrible place and I couldn't bring her home. When I got the phone call the next morning to come get her I could hardly contain myself. I knew there would be challenges, but I was looking forward to knowing that we had saved even just one. 

    Since coming home she has chewed toys, taken off with shoes, clothes and anything she can get her mouth on. She cowers from my husband and broke my heart that she ran terrified when I brought the broom out to sweep the floors. She hasn't had an accident in the house, but jumps on everyone and tries to nip fingers and toes. My kids are losing patience with her. I am reminded of them being small. Trying to teach them to stay out of something for months on end and wondering if they would ever learn to listen. Constantly worrying about them finding something small enough to choke on and doing several sweeps through the house a day to make sure nothing is within reach. Love is patient. I have learned that patience, kindness, gentleness and love will get me far in teaching something new. I know once Miss Molly learns what is hers and what is not that we will have a really great dog to help me teach the kids the virtues that I want them to learn. That learning starts now. They are learning that Love Is Patient...

Be Blessed!

Maygan

    I'm going to do it. I'm going to start doing what I have been wanting to do for a very long time and didn't have the courage to do. I am going to have a blog. Strange even to think of such a thing. I have never been great with technology and I don't plan to be anytime soon, but I love to write.
    Here I will write about our lives. Our wild, crazy, beautiful lives. My thoughts. My wild, crazy, sometimes out there thoughts. Our adventures. You probably guessed it... our wild adventures through the journey of life. Sometimes things slow down and there is nothing new going on. In those moments I seem to have the strangest ideas and thoughts. My mind does not like being bored. I hate drama, but love activity.
    I try to find the beauty in life all around me, even in the biggest messes. I'm still learning how. I am learning a lot of things. How to be patient, to be kind, to apply the wisdom I have already gained and to be gracious when being taught something new.
    We recently bought a fixer upper to be able to save money for a house later down the road. That, my friends, has been an adventure. With two children anything you try to do is an adventure. I'm learning that as well. We home school those two children. I have to say here that I truly admire women that have more than two, home school, and still have some of their marbles. I think someone poked a hole in the bottom of my bag. ;-) I wouldn't have it any other way. They drive me nuts and some days are so hard I don't know whether to laugh or cry, but the rewards are many and I can see them daily. As if I didn't already have enough crazy in my life, we decided to adopt a shelter dog. Today makes the third day home for her and she finally ate a little. I'm beginning to think it has had nothing to do with her adjusting and everything to do with things I will find are missing later.
    We all learn new things, we all go through trials and think that we are the only ones. Sometimes it helps to know that someone out there is learning right along with you. That they are praying right along with you, weeping or shouting for joy. I hope this becomes a place to share this journey.


Be Blessed!

Maygan